Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Cha cha Changes!

Since my last post several months ago, I have moved to the city of Austin - living on my own for the first time EVER -  and have had many, many other life changing experiences. Since there has been so much, I will probably break this down into several posts - mostly so that you don't go blind from all of the reading of the novela that IS my life! (Yup, I'm a giver that way.) I'll begin today with the incredible story of the move.

Easter weekend.  A time when we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and a time that we take to celebrate all things new. Never in all of my dreams or nightmares did I imagine what Easter 2013 would hold for me! Twenty-three years ago if you'd asked me if what I was going through was a possibility, I would have probably laughed in your face and said, "Nope, not me, NEVER!!! It's not even a word I will use." Yet, here I was in the reality of that very thing. I was in the middle of a divorce. Perhaps more on that at a later date - I was beginning a new season in my life, in a new city and Easter became a reminder that God is a God of 2nd chances, new beginnings and that He loves us inspite of our brokeness.

So, here I was, in need of a new place to live.  Austin felt like the logical choice since it is where my church home is and also close to the school where I work in Buda, so I began to search. WoW! +20 years in the same house can leave one completely out of touch!! As I crawled out from under the apparent rock I was living under, I swallowed the shock of how expensive places to live have gotten. It was more glaring to me than ever that I was no longer part of a two-income household and school secretaries are not at the top of the economic food chain to say the least!  Thankfully, I found an apartment, that while near the top of my budget, was in a great location close to church, school and in a part of town that I was actually somewhat familiar with. (little known fact - just a few short years ago, the thought of me driving anywhere in Austin set the hairs up on the back of my neck, caused palpitations and offered a bevy of jokes about my lack of directional fortitude to all who knew me. God does indeed have a sense of humor doesn't He?!?!?) 

Anywho - Lease signed on a one bedroom apartment - time to move - Good Friday was the day. I had the day off already from work and had been boxing things up for a while in preparation. (plus I had recently de-excessed remember?) 

A precious friend from church came to me one night following choir practice to check in and in our conversation asked who I had helping me to move. Hmmm, hadn't really thought about that much - just figured I'd do it on my own. (I mean, isn't that what my new life would be? Doing things on my own? Alone? - Almost as if it was a self-imposed punishment for failing at marriage!- that darn Shame voice!!) She asked if I minded if she told our growth group (aka Sunday School class) about the upcoming move and to ask for help.  I replied that it was fine if she wanted to do that, but since I don't get to go to growth group very often, -No, I'm not a total slacker.  I buddy with our special needs kids most Sundays- nobody would even know who I was much less want to help.  She asked me to trust her and to relax knowing that these people would answer the call.   I didn't hold my breath - so many people in my life had made promises before with no results. - all the while reminding myself  "It's just one more thing that comes with the "Scarlet D of divorce" that in my mind I would forever have as my identifier and that would repel any thought of anyone wanting to do anything with or for me. Yup, the voice of deception was coming in loud and clear!!

In the meantime, I reserved a truck and was set for the move with or without help... Until... I got a call from the company saying that the smaller truck that I reserved was not available and that I was being upgraded to the larger sized truck.  I almost had a heart attack from the stress of driving this beast from the store to my house which was only a couple of miles literally - how in the world would I get this monstrosity from Lockhart to Austin without total heart failure or possibly taking out an entire neighborhood as I turned a corner?!?  Have mercy!

Truck Ordered
Truck I drove off of the lot!!
Thankfully, the Lord showed great mercy upon me, my heart, and those innocent people that I could have wiped out! -- I made a frantic call to a dear friend - not sure if I was all out bawling at this point or not, but totally stressed out over the prospect of driving this thing.  As she has many times before, she talked me off of the ledge (so to speak) and said that her husband had driven one of these before and that they would come to Lockhart early the next morning, he would drive it to Austin and she and I could follow behind.  The level of relief I felt as a result of this precious gift was immeasurable! 
 
She apologized that they had other commitments later that morning and couldn't stay to actually unload the truck, but then asked if I knew how many people were coming to help. I shared that other than my Growth Group leaders I really had no idea, but it would get done one way or the other. I prayed some weak little half-hearted prayer that night asking God to provide help so that I wouldn't be alone in the process, but honestly, thought to myself that no one would give up their early Good Friday morning - if they would even be off work - for me. Hello! Never in class, don't know most of these people, soon to be divorced gal - seriously?!? Sad, but I promised you from the beginning I would be authentic and keep it real and this is about as real as it gets folks pretty or not!
Friday morning came and I was an emotional mess to put it mildly.  All of my things were loaded in this monster that claimed the entire driveway.  I was leaving the house we'd raised our boys in and lived in for the past 21 years. Lockhart, being a small town plus the fact that we lived on one of the busiest corners in town, made me feel as if all of this was live on CNN or something.  I'm not sure I've ever felt so utterly exposed, vulnerable, sad, and alone in all of my life.

About the time that the balloons and streamers were set to arrive for this tremendous pity party I was hosting, my friend and her husband arrived. Seeing the state I was in (I take "ugly" cry to a whole new level!) they both reached into my van window and prayed for me. Honestly I have no idea what words were spoken in that prayer, but at that very moment I was reminded that I was not alone and that I was still loved.  I knew that even if the two of them had never come that God had me wrapped in His warm embrace and that He would see me through this incredible pain.  Having them there was just an added blessing to help me through the process.

Several more tears and Kleenex later, we pulled out - Austin bound. Just a mile or so down the road my phone rang and it was my precious friend calling me to talk and, I'm guessing, to keep my mind off of the pain as much as she could which ultimately saved me from driving off of the road from tear created blindness.  We talked almost all the way to my new home and I even found myself laughing at times. To date, I am still so grateful for that selfless act of kindness. 

I picked up my keys in the apartment office, we parked and walked in for a tour of the apartment that I had never actually gotten to look at in person. (and you were thinking I had absolutely no faith!) As we walked out, I saw a couple of teenaged girls from my church that I knew and adore that had come to help and one even had my favorite flavored Shipley's donut in hand- gush! Side note - this was HER birthday and yet, she was here to help... ME and brought ME breakfast!!  I went to hug their sweet necks and by the time I turned around there were people all over the place that had come to help unload the truck and move me it! Wait... WHAT?!?

Within about 30 minutes the mega truck was completely unloaded by a team of about 25 adults, youth and even children. One of my friends drove the truck to drop it off, my bed was being set up by some other loving men - one even knew to ask how I wanted my bed skirt put on! PERFECTION!! it's the little things that impact me, I swear!!  I even had friends hanging my curtains!  In the kitchen a group of ladies and teens were unpacking boxes left and right and setting up things for me - even cutting and placing the shelf liners and going to the store for more when they ran short.  Someone brought a cooler with water bottles to share and someone else had thought to bring paper towels, garbage bags and even toilet paper - BRILLIANT!!  Some of the teenaged boys were setting up my TV and other electronics.  Note -- I did not know who most of these friends were yet there were here... to help... ME... just because I needed the help. And yes, I cried... A LOT!! So humbling and so touching all at the same time!!!

By lunch time, pretty much everything that could be unpacked by them had been and they began leaving a few at a time, but as a result of this beautiful and completely selfless act and display of loving like Jesus, my life has forever been impacted. To add the cherry to the top of the love sundae, one of my sweet friends even returned that night to help me some more bringing Chinese take out for dinner because she noticed I really had no groceries in the kitchen she'd helped set up!! 

When everyone left and I finally got still for the day, I stopped to thank God for His gifts of mercy, grace and for providing help from people I didn't even know.  I asked for forgiveness because I didn't even have the minimal faith to believe that He is already there for me and totally able and willing to supply all of my needs and even some of my wants. I was so thankful that the He had provided people who exuded sacrificial and selfless love - for... ME... on a work holiday...just because!

Here are a few pics of my new home.

















So here are some questions. 
What can we do as a genuine act of love and service today? 
How can we go out and impact a people's lives even if they can't call us by name? 
What if what we do doesn't guarantee human praise or accolades - would we still do it? 
I'd love to hear from you regarding this experience or others that perhaps you have been part of or had done for you. 

 
 
     
 



 





Friday, March 15, 2013

Enough is Enough - or is it still Too Much?

I so love that God continues to show His sense of humor in my life! (ok, a little sarcasm may have been included in the previous statement) Maybe I should explain...

I've been participating in a Bible Study based on Jen Hatmaker's book, 7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. The title says it all! We have been unpacking how often the excess in our lives takes away from our primary focus which should be God and not "stuff".  As if that wasn't enough...

Back in February, our pastor started a sermon series titled Enough. (I highly suggest that you watch/listen to all of this series because it is guaranteed to hit home with everyone in one way or another.  BBC Enough Sermon Series - Ryan Rush, Pastor )-- Is it just me or do you see the Lord perfectly laying out a "theme" of focus here???
Anywho... the 3 action steps that we were challenged with during one of those sermons have been on my mind constantly since they were spoken and since the 7 study was already spinning around in there, my brain has been all a flutter.
            1.)  See the need.
            2.)  Simplify your life. -- De-accumulate
            3.)  Solve a problem.
Sure, this sounds easy, but if you are like me, over the years I've accumulated a LOT of "stuff" and I kinda enjoy that "stuff" or I wouldn't have accumulated it in the first place.  Due to a life change that I am in the middle of though, I've had to really sit down with said "stuff" and reevaluate my version of things that I "need" vs. those that I just "want" and decide what is truly enough, and what is more than enough. 
            1.) See the need has truly been put to the test.  What do I really need to live and set up home with and what can I seriously live without?
            2.) Simplify your life. I've had to remind myself of the verse - 1 Timothy 6:17 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. -  OUCH! Does that step on your toes as much as it does mine??  God will certainly provide me with all that I truly need -- so it is time to "de-stuff" substantially.
            3.) Solve a problem. hmmm - of course my initial response was, "Isn't that what I've been doing in steps #1 and #2?!?!?"  Thankfully, Pastor Ryan helped out ahead of time with this one idea.  He asked how many pounds of "stuff" could we give away or sell and give the proceeds to missions.  Of course there are many, many options of what could be done with your excess "stuff."

So, have I gotten rid of all my "stuff" and will I be living a totally minimalist life? No, I still have some fun "stuff" left, but this whole experience has really given me a different perspective on wants and needs and how little we can truly be o.k. with.  Best of all, every time I get the moments of self pity of the Enormous Sacrifice I am making and all of the "stuff" I can't take with me, I remind myself of the Ultimate Sacrifice God made for me and the "stuff" stops seeming like such a big deal.

I'd love to hear from you if you decided that the Enough in your life may actually be too much and how you have or will de-accumulate the "stuff" in your life!!

As for me, back to sorting, packing and the de-accumulation process! Prayers deeply appreciated!!!

 

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Stop and Smell the Skunks - WHAT?!?!

Each morning I rise around 4:30 a.m. and NO, I am NOT a morning sorta gal!  So why, you may ask do I choose to rise at such a ridiculous hour??? It is because without starting my day with thanksgiving, praise and prayer, my whole attitude is just out of sync and I tend to fail to see the blessings all around me. 

Case in point:  A few mornings ago, I gave into the flesh's desire to hit the snooze button right through my regular quite time leaving me with just enough time to fly through the house to get ready in time to make it to work.  One of those, "I've got this figured out and can do today on my own, God" sort of attitudes.  WHAT?!? Surely, I'm not the only one that has done this???

I have about a 35-40 minute commute to work each morning.  Because I have to be at my school at 7:00 a.m., I drive most days in the dark. This jouney is along winding country roads with a max speed of 55mph. On this particular morning, I found myself cutting it close time-wise and behind a driver with a max speed of 40mph and no chance of passing on the two-lane, curvy path.  After several miles behind him at this speed I was "blessing his heart" repeatedly. (ok, I may have let road rage enter in a little)

           
A bit farther, I witnessed him dodge a skunk in the road. Since Feburary is the start of the Skunk's mating season, one really has to be on guard for these little fellas as they are EVERYWHERE!!! Of course he/she shared some eau de skunk which is NOT my most favorite fragrance.  Immediately, I found myself angry with the man, the skunk, the creators of the curvy road, -- you get the picture. 
A mile or so down the road, the song Change My Heart oh, God came on. I actually laughed out loud as the words of the song penetrated my heart.  I swear the Lord has a great sense of humor at times!!! 

It's easy to stop and smell the flowers and enjoy pleasant things. We can all find the blessings in the good times, when everything is coming up roses.  The true test comes when we are forced to stop and smell the less than pleasant aromas, like the skunk, and the circumstances of life that may challenge our faith a little bit more. So, I don't know about you, but I think I'll try to stop seek out more of the blessings in the challenges -- and won't be snoozing through my quiet time again any time soon either!










 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me!


When I was a little girl my family would faithfully watch Hee-Haw on television.  We were hard core I tell ya - I even had my own Hee-Haw overalls! They looked like these. (Please be kind - I wasn't making my own fashion choices at this age yet!)

One of the memories I have of this show was the segment where several jug drinking fellows would sing the song, "Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me."  (Watch this video if you have no idea what I am talking about or if you'd like a glimpse back at the past. http://youtu.be/nPL7nN99jno  ) After they sang, these woe-filled guys would share their agonies of the day and commiserate with one another about how terrible their lives were ending the segment all in tears, miserable, and seemingly, hopeless.

Have you ever had days like this? (or weeks or even months) You know, that feeling that your life is filled with nothing but trials, heartache, or just general yuck and all you can focus on is the gloom, despair... you get the picture!

Truth is, we all have and as I found myself recently beginning my quiet time with "Ok, God, Seriously?!?" (So glad He can take it and is full of mercy!)

Thankfully, I soon remembered that, while there is a time for sadness and grief and the like, we have to be so very careful not to fall (or in some cases - jump) deep into the pit of gloom and seeming hopelessness like the Hee-Haw guys did.

Have I recently found myself facing several of life's challenges and pains?  Absolutely! and I do mean several! - Do I enjoy any of them? May I just share a strong, NO?!But, in spite of these, I also needed to remember the ANDs in my life as well.  Yes, there have been multiple things recently that have increased the stress level of my day to day leaving me a sad AND during this same time I've also been blessed in more ways than I can count too!

Several people have commented recently on how strong I seem to be in spite of the storms in my life.  

Oh contrere'!  I am weak as a newborn kitten when left to my own devices and there are times I am tempted to dive head first into that pit and throw the biggest pity party to have ever been thrown. I am talking the kind with streamers, party hats, and a huge bowl of pity punch! (I've pondered on this a time or two, can you tell??)

Thankfully, there is a scripture verse that brings me comfort and reassurance and He, my friends, is what strengthens me.  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

One of the ways that I've found to remind myself of the "ANDs" in times of struggle is to make a list of all of the blessings related to the struggle. - I'm a huge list maker so this is my way - you might create your own way that works better for you. 
(terribly weak example and not really a huge struggle, but...
struggle: I am tired and don't want to get up at 4:30 a.m. and go to work while everyone else gets to still be sleeping.
blessings: I am healthy enough to work. I have a job to go to. The pay from my job helps to provide food and shelter for me and my family. I might miss out on an opportunity to bless others if I stay home. etc.) 
Instead of focusing on the struggle and risk getting buried underneath it, I look for the blessings that exist relating to it. What if, as Laura Story shares in her song, - your blessings come through Raindrops and there will be good that comes as a result of the struggle? (here's the song if you are not familiar with it http://youtu.be/eOOFAaUGfRE )

Kinda puts it all in perspective, huh?

What are your "ANDs" in the midst of your storms? How do you handle your "gloom, despair and agonies" of life? Feel free to go "out on a limb" with me here and share.

For the record, if you have taken the time to read this post, you have already added to my blessings list for today! - Pity Party has again been postponed -  Thank you.

  






Saturday, January 26, 2013

Allow me to Introduce Myself and My New Blog

Howdy all and welcome to my new blog! (Hello to the rest of you who may not bleed Maroon or aren't from Texas)

I'll guess begin with a little background.

I'm Darla - this is me.

I was a child of the 60's (well, I was born in the 60's technically!) I was given up for adoption at birth and was adopted 3 weeks later. Much has happened in the years since, but we'll save that for another day - or several!
God has blessed me with a huge heart for people and for a life of service.  I enjoy relationships with individuals of all ages - from the very young to those with the greatest of life's experiences. Spending time with these precious souls oxygenates me almost literally. You will find that I am happiest and at my very best when I get to spend time with and do for others.

By day, I am an elementary school secretary and love my job.  I have the joy of working with some incredible and encouraging people and I get to spend time around some pretty wonderful children as well.  I am on cloud nine when a student peeks in or waves to me in the halls and if a parent drops by with an unexpected Diet Dr. Pepper from Sonic... I am over the moon!! (yup, it's the little things!!) Many days we feel like we are one monkey short of a full circus in the office, but l wouldn't change a minute of it for it keeps my perspective where it should be and provides for a few laughs as well.

On the weekends, you will find me serving in various areas of ministry at my home church.  I am a member of a phenomenal body of Christ followers at Bannockburn Baptist in South Austin. I am so blessed to be a part of the prayer team, the most incredible worship choir EVER (ok, maybe a little prejudiced, but I love being a part of it that much!), and my most treasured moments are serving as "buddy" to many of our special needs children. I also have a heart for missions and have been blessed to have spent a little time (hoping for more) with our Austin homeless ministry and have traveled to our adopted village in Guatemala 3 times in the past year and a half with wonderful teams comprised of people from several Austin-area churches to serve and continually find myself being served and blessed as well.

In my down time (yes, I think I still remember down time - haha!) I enjoy working on all sorts of craft projects and even more so since discovering Pinterest. Music speaks to the depths of my soul and so many songs I listen to speak my heart as well. I enjoy listening and singing - though sadly, not talented enough to perform publicly. (You should see some of my private concerts with a Pledge can as my microphone - Epic, I tell ya!) Books and reading them is another passion of mine. (almost to an addictive level I fear!) I read mostly non-fiction books that educate me or ones that help me with my sweet church buddies, but not opposed to taking time for a People magazine either. (don't judge!)

The bulk of my life story is novel in and of itself and I'll share bits and pieces of it from time to time here.  I've been blessed with enough of life's opportunities, hardships, and celebrations to fill several blogs, but will try to ease you in gently so as not to scare you off!

Moving right along...

I am humbled to have been allowed to love and raise 2 wonderful sons; Cameron and Caleb.


My oldest is Cameron.  He is 21 years old and the father of my first grandchild, Kyleigh, who will already be 1 next month!!! (How can this be when I'm only 29ish myself?!?)  He is one of the sweetest (in a manly sort of way) Daddies I've ever seen and to watch him with his daughter absolutely makes my heart sing! Cameron has one of the most loving and compassionate souls I've ever known and gives some of the best hugs on earth! I am so hopeful for him as he begins a new chapter in his life!!!
 
 
Carly is Cameron's girlfriend and Kyleigh's Mommy. I love watching Kyleigh's whole face light up when Carly walks into the room. She is a very attentive and loving mother and Kyleigh is thriving as a result of such loving parents without a doubt. I enjoy hearing her share her desires to grow in the Lord and so appreciate the opportunities to share with her about the richness of relationship with Him. 

 

Caleb is 18 and just completed his first and, for now, last semester at Texas A&M University. (but once an Aggie, always an Aggie, so I'm not giving up hope of his return!) He is a very deep and insightful young man, and has a computer for a brain I swear.  Don't let that fool you though, as he also has one of the greatest senses of humor I've even known! He cracks me up regularly with ease! Excited to see how he allows God to use these amazing gifts!
So now that we've met "officially", let's transition over to blog stuff...

Over the past few months several friends repeatedly asked me why I didn't have a blog.  My initial responses varied from wondering what I might write about all the way to fearing that no one would even read what I wrote. After much discussion and some nagging gentle prodding, I decided to... ahem... go... "out on a limb" and just do it. (a true test in vulnerability - Author, Brene' Brown would be so proud!) I'm not sure that I have a specific mindset for a blog theme as such, but I've never lacked in the area of opinion nor topics for conversation for that matter, so if you don't like one post fear not, for much like the Texas weather, I may totally change things up with my next post! I also welcome ideas for future posts.

When pondering over a name for my new blog, I sought out the help of some trusted professionals on, where else, but Facebook for advice and suggestions. (isn't that where everyone goes for such things?!?)  I actually received several great ideas.
 – Here are a few of my favorites and why I just couldn't use them even though I loved them  -
“Darla’s Daily Dose” - was afraid someone might over do it with too many "doses" and then blame me for it – or if I get lazy, too few "doses" and then withdrawals - too risky, but thanks, Carmen Minor for this one - love and miss you!!
“Darla’s Dish” - great, but it would be the only dish served since I don’t cook- Chris King, you know this my friend, but nice cover up attempt!
"Peters’ Pontifications" - too much pressure to sound ed-you-kated or something. One day I hope to have a better grasp of syntax to live up to such a moniker!  - Paige Hanks, you are truly an inspiration and a precious friend!

Then came the one from my fellow "Tree" from BBC's Singing Christmas Tree, Christine Rodriguez, "Going out on a Limb" in recognition of our experience as trees in a recent production. (yes, that's me in the suit and I had a blast in my role as tree, but let me just say, "it ain't always easy bein' green!") Thanks to Anna Hanna for this great photo.
 

While not for the reasons referenced previously, the title concept grabbed me and didn't seem to want to let go.  In a scripture reading one morning I pondered over this verse out of Job,  (For there is hope for a tree, When it is cut down, that it will sprout again, And its shoots will not fail. Job 14:7) confession - I read this during a pity party sort of day and Job tends to be my "go to" on such occasions,  and it really spoke to me.  It reminded me that any of us can find ourselves feeling "chopped down" and even looking into the pit from time to time, but what if I choose to have the attitude and resilience of that tree instead of climbing into that pit
? What if I knew that I could and would sprout again??  Even on "those days" we have the hope and assurance because of Jesus Christ that God will see us through it and by mercy and grace will allow us renewal and the ability to start again! I knew this was the direction to go - if for no one else's benefit, but my own daily reminder!

Thanks to all who helped and encouraged me to start this - (I think!) I ask for a little mercy as I learn the ins and outs and dos and don'ts of the blogging world  - suggestions always appreciated and words of encouragement and affirmation will never be turned away.  (Can you guess what my love language is???)

Now let's just pray this isn't a total flop and that someone out there will actually read, comment, and maybe even benefit from it!- (Oops! Just let you hear my insecure voice - unfortunately, she surfaces from time to time, but my goal is to keep it real, so I'll share her with you - just this once.)

I'm excited about this opportunity and I thank you for joining me "Out on a Limb".  dp